First impression is a lasting impression, especially when it comes to dating. It is very important to plant a good impression in her mind so that she will feel good about you. By dressing in a good suit with good table manners, it is a great start to have a good first impression. But there are some other things that a woman will take note of, which will determine the impression that she has on you. If you behave like a wussy and feel intimidated by her, it will do you no good at all. She will feel that you are just another wussy guy who is trying to woo her, and your chance of success with her is dramatically reduced. By acting the right way when you first meet a woman, you will definitely bring across to her that you are special. You will show that you are just now those normal, wussy guys out there who stand no chance at all. Other than acting the right way, having a favorable outing plan will also boost your chance of success with your date. Below are some tips which while planning for a first date: 1. Be punctual. You set the time and venue. 2. Have a backup plan. If you are planning an outdoor activity, do have a plan if it rains. 3. Do not bad mouth your ex-girlfriends. 4. Dress appropriately. Do not over or under dress for the occasion. 5. Do not take too much alcohol, and worse still to get drunk. Go ahead for your first date with an open and optimistic mind. The objective is to have fun and know her more, at the same time be open to any possibility and rejection. It is all part and parcel of dating. To successfully increase your chance to get women to like you, visit the link below to get more tips to attract women now… Link –> Click Here To Learn How To Attract Women Successfully…

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The Importance of First Impression in Dating

Topic: Speed-dating: A little like entering the great wild? Posted by: Aly Walansky A friend and I (actually the friend I wrote about last week), decided to try our luck at the mystical world that is speed-dating last night. If any of you are unfamiliar (and missed the Sex and the City episode devoted to it), you take turns telling the person across the table all the meaningful details about yourself, hoping that (if they are not too terribly strange) you might click enough to want to have a full date. You’ve got 3 minutes. Then a gong shrills, and your next date appears. Repeat. 40 times. If you are lucky, you may get a pee break. We are talking serious marathon dating. In the SATC plot, Miranda didn’t do well at all. Many people don’t - and then you ask yourself, do you really want to put yourself through 40 bad dates in one evening? Isn’t ONE enough? As anyone who’s ever been single knows … when it rains it pours. Raining men, that is! We’ve all been there, suffering through a long dry spell - and then all at once, the heavens open up and send us a downpour of bow-wrapped manhood! You meet several hot dating prospects within a couple of weeks and have to juggle a bunch of guys at once. That is exactly what the scene is at speed dating, except it’s all blind dates, and you are obligated to be nice (for 3 minutes), before moving on. Depending on the locale (I ended up at a downtown lounge complete with video arcades, stiff drinks and free Cosi on premesis), participants take their seats on sofas or long narrow bar tables. When the gong blows, your first 3-minute date has begun. The gong will blow every three minutes and the men get up and move to the next date. If you like the guy you’re talking to, you write his name on your score card and circle ‘Yes’. If you don’t want to see him again, you circle ‘No’. When the event is over, you enter in your own responses on the website. Everyone’s Yes’s and No’s are calculated, and if you “match” with a guy – meaning you said yes to him and he said yes to you, you receive each other’s email addresses. The next step is up to you! Very often the event will be centered around certain age groups or fields (say, creative people). Sounds great, in theory - but all just a little intense for the average shy single. And so, the next day, it all seems a little like a whirlwind - friends attending together, one disappointed because the other got more matches than she did, and the girl who got lots of matches feeling somewhat confused…honestly not able to at this point pinpoint one guy against the other in her memory’s annals. So, I was wondering, what all of you thought of this dating “method”. Is there a way to best make it work for you?

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Speeding through the first step?

Topic: What advice would you give a friend looking to find love in 2008? Posted by: Margo Z Both sexes:

Topic: What advice would you give a friend looking to find love in 2008? Posted by: Amy Spencer I see your point, Evan. Aly’s advice that singles should “stop trying” in dating seems, as she admits, very defeatist. It’s the equivalent of “Just wait by the phone for a man to call,” which we girls have learned to stop doing long ago (at least I hope we have, right girls?). But I think there is a line here. The way I see it, “trying” is one thing. And that’s what you’re talking about, Evan: Going online to find love. Asking to be set up. Giving a guy a second chance even when there wasn’t chemistry the first time. If what you want is love, then I say sure, try anything. But then there’s trying too hard , and that’s another thing entirely. I know, because I’ve been the girl that tried too hard, though I didn’t know it at the time. I cringe when I think about the guys I pushed to like me, the dates I pushed to happen, the parties I waded through in desperation, asking everyone, “Is anyone single here? Have you seen any cute guys?” I remember once hounding my sister once to arrange a set-up with the brother of a friend of hers who was mentioned to me in passing. (Can you follow that?) I’d call my sister every day asking, “Did you talk to R about her brother yet? Have you heard anything? Can you make it happen? Three weeks later, the brother finally told R, who told my sister, who told me: “He said ‘I hear she’s a brunette. I don’t date brunettes…” God, I felt like a fool. Not only was I trying too hard, but I doing it for some jerk-off (can I say that on here? Trust me, I want to say worse!). The point is, that experience was not good for my self-esteem. I felt like a desperate single woman “on the prowl” just like Aly’s friend, willing to do anything to find a partner. Persistence seems to work with everything else in life, I thought, so why not with love? Well, because love can’t be earned by hours worked or effort repaid. Finding love is, unfortunately, one of those things we can’t force or control. I guess agree with both Evan and Aly: Try, definitely. But if you feel yourself trying too hard —and by that I mean feeling desperate, turning ugly, feeling down on yourself, hating the search for love—then stop! Please, for your own sake. Stop the cycle that I was in and that Aly’s friend is in now, and focus on other things for a minute. You can try again later! The watched pot never boils, and a depressingly-stared-and-glared-at love life won’t heat up either. Yeah, it sounds unhelpful to suggest sitting back and resting. But sometimes, for your own sanity, you need to! Pick one of the other 135 facets of your life that make you who you are, other than dating—friends, exercise, reading, writing, dancing, cooking, walking, eating—and focus on that for a minute. And who knows, you may end up being one of those people who (like me) end up saying, “It’s so funny, the minute I stopped trying…” and “It was just when I least expected it…” Remember, clichés become clichés because there’s truth in there.

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There’s "Trying"…and there’s "Trying too hard"

Posted by: Evan Marc Katz Topic: Response to Aly Walansky Stop being desperate, maybe. Stop being needy, definitely. Stop being bitter, absolutely. But stop trying so hard? I’ve got great respect for you, Aly, but it seems that your advice is specific to your friend. It’s not that she’s trying too hard. It’s that she’s a sad, jaded person whose air of negativity consumes her and repels men. So you can blame it on the fact that she’s “pressing”. But the solution to your friend is not to stop trying. It’s to lighten up. Find happiness elsewhere. Build her self esteem. Be ready for a relationship. And THEN try, try, try to meet a likeminded single man. Truly, Aly, I didn’t mean to call you out. The only reason I’m weighing in is because of the fairy tale perspectives that so many of us have. “It happens when you least expect it”, “It should happen naturally”, “It’s all about instant chemistry”. No, no, no! It CAN happen when you least expect it. It’s NICE when it happens naturally. And instant chemistry CAN be thoroughly intoxicating. But that doesn’t mean it’s the ONLY way for it to happen. Ask anyone who’s ever dated online (unnatural), thru a matchmaker (unnatural), gave someone a second date when the first one wasn’t magic (not instant chemistry), or spent five years on the prowl until Mr. Right came along (very much on the hunt). I said it in Why You’re Still Single , and I’ll say it again now: things don’t just happen. We make them happen. Give your love life the attention you give your work life and watch things start to bloom.

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Stop Trying Too Hard? Really?

Topic: What advice would you give a friend looking to find love in 2008? Posted by: Aly Walansky I think my advice is to stop trying. That sounds awfully defeatest for a relationship blog, but the point is that as long as you run around looking for love (”in all the wrong places”), it’s going to elude you. I have a friend who has been on the prowl as long as I know her. She goes to bars for the specific purpose of meeting her future husband. Halfway through her second drink, she grows morose that no one is talking to her and begins to grow bitter, angry, and jaded, followed by teary. This happens just about every time we are out, and I’m pretty sure is the reason she’s still on the prowl. Sad thing is, she’s an awesome girl that when she’s not on a mission, is fun to talk to, and easy to approach. But who wants to deal with *that* pressure? Relationships and love take (and deserve) work. But meeting people is the fun part. Just have fun, be yourself, and let it happen.

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Stop Trying So Hard!

Topic: Couple Fights: What’s the one bit of advice you’d like to share about making them productive, not destructive? Posted by: Sherry Amatenstein Two boxers circling one another in the ring thirsting for blood, each consumed with finding and attacking what they sense is their opponent’s Achilles heel. I f this resembles you and your partner when you fight minus the ring and boxing gloves, then Houston, we’ve got a problem. As Evan said so cogently an argument between lovers should not be about proving one is right and the other wrong.

Men are always trying to find out what are the ways and techniques that they can use to attract the opposite sex. What is the law of attraction when it comes to dating? Women know within a few minutes of interacting with you whether or not you are a sexually confident man. A sexually confident man will really turn a woman on and make you irresistible. Let me just share with you 4 basic laws of attraction when comes to dating, if you want to make yourself irresistible to women : 1. Know how to carry yourself. Women will be very aware about your body language. Suck in your stomach; hold your head up, chest out, shoulders back. You will generally hold yourself like you are the most powerful person you have ever known. Know how to carry yourself like a manly man and women will subconsciously being attracted to you. 2. Know how to hold eye contact with women. Do not cold stare, or use daring eye glances. Just gently hold her gaze until she looks away. If you know how to make full use of your eyes, they will become the most effective tool for flirting . Hold her gaze long enough to say, “I see you and I like you.” Then throw her a confident smile. 3. Speak confidently and slowly. Learn how to speak from the chest and stomach and not from the throat. Learn how to speak slower and clearly, with a moderately deep voice, which will convey confidence. When you speak too fast, it will seem to her that you are nervous, and it is a turn off to women. 4. Do not rush; slow down your behavior and action. Confident people are not in a hurry. By having lots of fidgeting or nervous behaviors, you are showing insecurity and self-consciousness. Use slow, calculated gestures and movements. To master these 4 laws of attraction, one needs practice. Go out there and meet more women and practice often. Sooner or later, you will have these attractions in you.

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Law Of Attraction In Dating

Couple Fights: What’s the one bit of advice you’d like to share about making them productive, not destructive? Posted by: Evan Marc Katz As far as I know, Dale Carnegie said it first. I’m sure hundreds of other self-help gurus have reappropriated it as well. Maybe I’ll pretend I never heard it before and pass it off as my own idea. But, according to every expert I’ve ever read, the one surefire way to guarantee a conflict is by insisting that you’re right and that your partner is wrong . Fact: NOBODY wants to be wrong. Wrong is invalidating, emasculating, and embarrassing. And anyone who tells you that you’re wrong has already lost you as an audience. Which means there’s no room for listening or peaceful negotiation. Wrong can ONLY mean a screaming match. This is why experts often try to reframe relationship debates in terms of how someone feels. It’s not, “You were wrong for talking to that cute guy for an hour at the party,” but rather, “I felt kind of bad when I was looking to chat, and you waved me away because you were engaged in conversation with some other guy.” Same basic premise, very different delivery. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t some empirical right and wrong. Obviously if you skinned her cat, you’re wrong, and if she cheated on you, she’s wrong. But most arguments aren’t this black and white. So assuming you’re looking to get past the argument, rather than breaking up, consider these three steps: Listen to your partner’s side. Acknowledge your partner’s experience or opinion as valid, even if you disagree with it. Talk about how your partner’s opinion makes you feel bad in some way. If your partner truly loves you, he/she doesn’t want to make you feel bad. Remember, a good arguer gains the sympathy of her partner. And as long as you’re insisting that your partner is flat-out wrong, it’ll be next to impossible to get him to take your side.

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How to Win a Fight By Not Winning

Topic: What advice would you give a friend who is looking to find love in 2008? Posted by: Vix the Over-Educated Nympho I come across so many people who have lost that spark of hope when it comes to finding love. Now I’m not one to throw around words like “spark” or “hope” but finding love is something that needs–well, words like “spark” and “hope.” It’s hard enough to find someone to love when you’re trying, but if you have some sort of emotional barricade thrown up there you don’t have a shot in hell. Most of the time when someone has given up of ever falling in love, it’s because she feels like the odds are against her. All the good ones are taken. Or gay. Or in therapy. Where to find a good person, let alone someone to fall in love with? It’s hard to keep the faith that someone special will come along when it seems everyone you meet is a douchebag, jerk, or an idiot. After too many unappetizing prospects the spark starts to die out, leaving hope nearly blind. It is at this point when many people fall victim to mediocre relationships because they find someone good enough, and good enough is better than nothing. NO IT’S NOT. It might be a nice change, but there’s a good chance it won’t last. It’s better to stick with nothing, otherwise you might miss someone remarkable while you’re fighting with someone else. Then there’s the other reason someone gives up hope of finding love: she thinks she’s not worth loving. Ironically these are the people who need love the most. Not finding it is taken as affirmation that one is unlovable, and it’s a downward spiral from there. I know someone who is a perfectly nice guy who wants to fall in love, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. He’s a great guy who won’t get out of his own way, like Sherry said in her post . He is one of the most sour people I’ve ever come across. I’m forty and never had a long-term relationship. Why would anyone want to date a loser like me who’s never had a girlfriend? I’m never going to find someone. This kind of attitude is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more bitter he gets about not meeting someone special, the less likely he is to meet someone special. I’m guessing he’s met several wonderful women who were open to the idea of dating him until his sour mentality made itself known. In that case, these wonderful women probably thought why would I date someone who doesn’t like himself . If he doesn’t think he’s worth dating, then why should I bother ? It doesn’t matter that he believes in love if he doesn’t believe in himself in the first place. I may not be religious or the kindest person out there, but I think belief is something worth clutching to. I know it’s difficult, but it’s at the worst times that belief is the most important. Those are the times that count. Believe. Believe that you’ll find someone to love, and know that when you do it’s because you deserve it.

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Believe